Heidi’s blog

Since I am a habitual theatregoer, you would think I would take the time to honor the money I spend and the enjoyment I get from attending.  That was partly this journals intent.
And yet. . .
I don't post.  I often am at a loss when it comes to verbalizing my reactions to shows or what they mean to me.
I've come closest in the not-so-matter-of-fact ways.
Here . . .  and here . . .
It should be easy to at least do reviews.  But I'm pretty lazy and scattered. 
I lose ticket stubs in the bottom of overnight bags and slide on piles of old playbills as I get in and out of bed.

But, I am taking time out today to be grateful for the upcoming West Side Story revival.
I have no idea why I am so bloody excited, but I am.
And that only increased when I learned how easy it was going to be for me to see the show in DC at its pre-Broadway tryout.  Read about it in Variety!
I am giddy. 
I think the show itself is masterful in its place in musical theatre history
and was so astounded by Arthur Laurents direction of the Gyspy revival.
I mean, me, enjoying the classics?  what?!

nest

It takes everything in me to leave my room as it is.
The only factor that helps at this point is the fact that my room is in the upstairs of my 100+ year old home.  And let's just say it is miserably hot.
In the evenings, with the help of a fan, I am comfortable enough to get online and surf the net-- delaying blog posting until I am too lazy to bother and reading until I fall asleep with the book still open and light still on.  At some point I might push the book off and touch the classy touch lamp that was a present from my uncles when I graduated from middle school.
And because I fall asleep so late, I usually wake up as the sun is turning my room into a kiln.  I mean, it is hot and I am usually dry mouthed and sticky enough to want to leave the room once I am awake enough to notice my skin cooking.

But,
I found an air conditioner buried under stuff.
Now I will never want to leave . . .

--the right song at the right time
--driving with the windows down
--lounging and talking on the phone with a friend
--catching someone smiling at you
--laughter from wholesome things like little kids and pets
--swings
--unexpected and unplanned swims
--having someone hug you when you feel bad
--giving gifts
--getting mail
--seeing family and friends happy
--good pillows and soft blankets
--fresh flowers and fresh fruit
--long walks
--enjoying silence with a friend
--big books with beautiful pictures
--singing loudly and unselfconsciously
--making art
--dressing up to go to dinner
--falling stars
--the sound of rain, fans, children playing, laughter
--being proud of someone you love
--s'mores
--bare feet
--reading aloud

True. 

gettysburg14

Anyway, I need to compose here
before I get completely lazy.  
Actually, whenever I am online,
which isn't much lately,
I get distracted before I get a chance to journal.
Distraction is BIG,
second only to her friend Procrastination.

There is, as usual, too much going on.
But at this point I have acquired some focus and
have set myself to certain tasks hoping it will help me regain my
emotional health.  I just finally realized I was teetering on the
verge of depression for a long time and made the decision to
swing UP instead of down.

Part of this has involved some intentional numbing on my part.
Caring too much about what I need to be doing with my life
has caused me to ignore important things altogether. 
And caring too much about other people has just been one wound after another.
One of my favorite bits of paradoxical wisdom has always been
"You can end love more easily than you can moderate it."
(Thank you, Seneca.  Roman philosopher. Stoic. Advisor to Nero.)
And true as that is, as I grow I am relaizing that the glitch in that
phrase is "easily."  Easy isn't always best so I am
rising to a challenge and not taking the easy road these days.
I am attempting to moderate nearly everything, including my most extreme
frustrations and affections for my closest loved ones.
It feels very Zen.  But it is totally unnatural for me. 

So, I feel a little tepid,
but ultra productive.
I have new seas of stress to navigate now,
but I adapt quickly.

I've been catching up on photo posting on flickr.
Still behind, but doing better!!

me. . .people i love (mostly). . .me *with* people i love  :)

So . . . people die everyday.  Lots of them.  But there seems to have been a boom of ones in my locale and public conciousness.

George Carlin-- June 22, 2008
Tasha Tudor-- June 18, 2008
Cyd Charisse-- June 17, 2008
Stan Winston-- June 15, 2008
Tim Russert-- June 13, 2008

And here at home . . .

Mo Wiley-- June 11, 2008

Sue Warhaft-- June 18, 2008

how life can be good and bad at the same time.

I am amazed that right at this precise moment I am so grateful to have my friend in the next room
and that I miss so many other people so deeply.

Damn milestones.
People graduating and bringing it all up for everyone else, too.

It was nice how beautiful the weather was today.  Warm but cool wind.
Incredible sky.
It was like every graduation I ever attended--
but so completely different and special for its own sake.

I think next week is going to be hard . . .
but there will be time with mom and a slumber party to make it all okay, I hope!

I am also feeling how difficult may and june were for me last year.
world, be gentle.

Hideaway

The Weepies

It's actually getting a tad ridiculous.
Normally in this season I would be having late night adventures,
posting pictures in the day when I am home,
making art, reading, taking naps. . .

I guess this is what full time work and helping with two theatrical productions at once will get you--
with only 1/4 of my "work" in the town where I live.  Being 30-45 minutes from home,
I usually just give up and crash elsewhere, especially with gas prices the way they are. UGH.

But at least I get a chance while I am driving to enjoy lots of music.
New weepies=yum.

It's finals week.  Once all the papers are graded, I will only be working 20 hours a week, so I will have half a chance at enjoying my summer.  Though I could be wrong . . . office hours might have to change a little . . .

As for the shows, Les Miserables is over.  I now just have two more weekends of Full Gallop to finish out.
We are doing a small musical review the weekend after that, and I am sure I will tie myself up somehow even beyond that.  I'm not much for slowing down.

I would like to do some visiting this summer, at least one big trip to the city, and a free musical for families in the park.  Should be do-able.

Other random music in rotation on my Ipod:

Jacques Brel Is Alive and Well and Living in Paris

Gavin DeGraw

We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things

37 Notebooks

Tamar Levine=Amazing
That's a link to the whole shoot . . .

The producer called me and let me off the hook a tech rehearsal for the show I am directing. WHEW!
Of course, I must have been a basket case yesterday for him to notice and feel the need to nurture me.

Ew. I just said "basket case." Once you learn the origins of that phrase, you will never want to use it again . . .
"By 'basket case' is meant a soldier who has lost both arms and legs and therefore must be carried in a basket."

Anyway, there's some useless trivia for you. Now you too can use a phrase borrowed from your grandma and instantly picture a limbless torso encased in wicker. lol.

On topic, Heidi. Can you tell I am drinking large quantities of Mountain Dew today?
SO. I had the evening off, and now I feel better.
I have just been running like crazy and always around lots of people.
A tame evening helped. Now I just need like ten of those days in a row . . .
Semester, please to be ending now!