2 posts tagged “family”
First, I've been remembering a certain kind of sadness
and am discovering it is the sound of my furnace fan.
The cycle-- it buzzes as the fire lights and then the fan blows,
finally just as you've adjusted to the the white noise, it cuts off
and slowly the chill in the room returns until . . . it buzzes again.
Just those sounds and the subtle temperature changes that accompany them trigger so many memories.
Christmases in this house. Recent winter's past-- most significantly this seasonal transition when I notice these sounds and feelings most.
Two years ago it was day after day of me sitting at the computer researching CATS costumes, threading tails, knitting --
friendless save for my family and the comfort of television and online personalities. In some ways I miss those days.
A year ago this season was full of people, most of whom I couldn't trust, many of whom I have since "lost."
And what will I remember next year? Limbo? Confusion? Work? Neglect? Grief?
Or grading papers, watching movies and eating the foods of my childhood?
My mama has been cooking.
Yesterday she made and brought me ham salad.
Today I went to their house for soup beans.
And she made me rice krispie treats so gooey you have to eat them with a spoon.
Just how I like them.
And as she was cooking I realized she is the sole bearer
now that grandma is gone
of all the family traditions, stories and recipes that I don't already know.
My goal this Thanksgiving is to gain a few more of them for myself.
I have paid more attention than most where those things are concerned,
yet it doesn't feel like enough.
And I suspect it never will.
This is my favorite picture of Mark. He, I think, I would consider my first friend. As in, you are family because you have to be, but I *chose* to like him.
Mark was here at my first art show. I think I was in first grade and had a picture of two people on either side of an oversized flower placed in the show.
And I am ultra amused by photos of things eating some version of themselves. I once posted my favorite sign of a pig serving barbecue. There's a hot dog eating a hot dog on the way to NY. And somewhere I saw a banana with a banana. Here we have a Brownie eating a brownie. teehee. PS. That's me.
My great grandfather's family was Afrikaan.
After WWI he experienced some nasty effects of shell shock. Once he was found wandering the streets of Philly as an amnesiac and was taken to this sanatorium. . .
I have lots of interesting and puzzling stories about him actually. Someday ,I think they will be a novel.
He's not actually in this picture from the hospital. I don't even know why it was given to the family after he was found.
The girl on the far right is my Aunt Virginia. She is the great aunt whose funeral I officiated a few weeks ago. And it's the daughter of the little boy in the funny hat (lol) who I originally started scanning photos for!
And finally, here's my grandmother on the steps where she used to wait for her daddy to return from the ship.
The fellow I mentioned who was in WWI and from Capetown? Well, he happened to be a doctor on a ship. That's how he ended up in the states and met my great grandma.
